teatattoo:

SHOWERS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE. OH UR SKIN FEELS STICKY? SHOWER. HAIR A LITTLE GREASY? SHOWER. NEED TO ESCAPE YOUR FAMILY? SHOWER.

(Source: xylemphone)

pulpdrinker:

sex tip!! when he puts it in, yell ‘what are u doing in my swamp’

What’s the worst thing I’ve stolen? Probably little pieces of other people’s lives. Where I’ve either wasted their time or hurt them in some way. That’s the worst thing you can steal, the time of other people. You just can’t get that back.

Chester Bennington (via wordsthat-speak)

…the older I get, the more I see how women are described as having gone mad, when what they’ve actually become is knowledgeable and powerful and fucking furious.

buttcramps:

simple tips to gain my friendship

  • have a dog
  • show me pictures of your dog
  • invite me over to pet your dog
  • be a dog
  • dog

emmysaurus:

taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 7 years?? no one can be sure

merlinwhosuperpotterlock:

"i can’t eat that, i’ll get fat"

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"i can’t sleep in late today i have to do work"

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"no i can’t watch a whole season in one go that’s lazy"

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"i can’t-"

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